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Our Very First Night
Our Very First Night is episode two of season one, which originally aired on September 25, 1987. Synopsis Joey and Jesse attempt to change Michelle's diaper yet again. Like before, it fails, leaving Danny to change it himself (see Quotes). Stephanie pays a visit to Jesse's room, and is surprised to see the changes he has made to what used to be her room (see Quotes). Joey comes in as the "Sandman Express" and, using a harmonica as a train horn, chugs her all the way to her and her sister's room. Later, Stephanie and D.J. are put to bed after hearing a "scary fairy tale", that is basically a combo of the girls' favorite characters. The three men have plans for that night. When the guys are all leaving home at one time, Danny explains that there has to be at least one adult in the house while the kids are there, giving his reason that his job actually makes any money. Jesse is stuck being the adult that has to stay with the kids. While Danny is at work at the TV station and Joey is doing his comedy slot at The Laugh Machine, Jesse decides to have his band practice at the house. Stephanie and D.J. think that Jesse is the easy one to trick, so they try to take advantage of his leniency by copying what Jesse does, staying up late with him ordering a pizza, eating sweets late, partying with the band, and even asking a band member to dye their hair purple. This causes Jesse to get in trouble for not managing the kids and being a responsible adult. Joey comes home from doing his comedy slot and joins in on the fun. When Danny comes home from work, before Jesse starts to explain what happened, Danny notices everything that is going on and does not like the whole situation. Before they can even escape or hide, he begins to scold D.J., Stephanie, Joey, and Jesse. All Joey can do is declare his innocence by saying that he was doing the conga when Danny walked in (see Trivia). Before D.J. can explain, Jesse cuts her off and lies to Danny, taking the blame. After his rant, he realizes that Jesse and Joey do not know a whole lot about raising kids, and decides that he needs to teach them how to be more serious about being more parental, making sure to set the kids' bedtime and that the guys are being responsible adults while Danny is not home. Suddenly, everyone hears Michelle crying, and the guys head up to her room and find that she's getting a new tooth. Danny then asks Joey to go get him a teething ring so he can soothe her pain, but Joey can't find one, so he gets a carrot instead. However, when Danny notices empty ice cream sundae bowls and chocolate milk cartons under the table in the girls' room, not knowing that it was the girls' idea, he assumes that Jesse let the kids eat it all and then hid the evidence under the table. Danny even threatens to call the police on him. Stephanie and D.J. refuse to see their uncle be in trouble, let alone jail, so they tell Danny the truth about being the ones who caused him to get in trouble and apologize to Jesse for lying to him. After that, Danny sends them off to bed before threatening to take everything out of their room, and offers Jesse the last slice of pizza and everything is calm once again. Danny takes Michelle off to bed by trying to sing a lullaby (see Quotes), and when that fails, Joey leads another conga (as Jeff Franklin's EP credit appears) as they carry Michelle to her room (and the camera cuts to the hallway, the audience applauds, and Thomas L. Miller and Robert L. Boyett's EP credits appear). Guest stars * as Raven * David Wakefield as Pizza Man Quotes is dismayed by Joey and Jesse's second effort to change Michelle's diaper. Danny: Gentlemen, , who was raised in the jungle by apes, went to bed in better shape than that baby. Jesse: Big deal. You're talking about a guy who wore diapers his entire life. Trivia. Danny: I really appreciate the effort, but I'll take it from here. and Jesse leave the room shaking hands. ---- enters Jesse's room (her former room). Stephanie: What happened to my room? Jesse: Looks pretty cool, huh? Look at this. I'm hanging up right here poster over her pink bunny wallpaper. Stephanie: Over my bunnies? Jesse: Well, Steph, your bunnies are very uh... pink. Stephanie: My mom made those bunnies just for me. Don't you like them her pouty face? Jesse: the poster down These bunnies. I love these bunnies. I'm sure Elvis had bunnies hanging all over Graceland. comes in. Danny: Okay, it's riddle time. What has blonde hair, purple pajamas, and is up way past their bedtime? Stephanie: Uh, Elvis? ---- Joey and Danny leave, D.J. and Stephanie come downstairs and walk past Jesse undetected. D.J. & Stephanie: Hi, Uncle Jesse they go into the kitchen. Jesse: Hi, girls. Girls, hey girls! Whoa, whoa, whoa! Girls, girls! Aren't you supposed to be in bed, dreaming about Tweety Bird, or Big Bird, or or something? D.J.: Uncle Jesse, if we get hungry, Dad always makes sure we have a late-night snack. Stephanie: We're gonna have ice cream sundaes and chocolate milk. D.J.: And cookies. Jesse: Freeze, chick. All right. I know. I'm pretty hip, here. You guys think I'm a, I'm an idiot or something? girls look at each other and Stephanie makes a face. Let me tell you something. I know what's going on here. Your dad's gone, and it's 'let's take advantage of the babysitter' time. Well, I got news for you, girls. Your Uncle Jesse's a little too sharp to be taken on that kind of ride. Now you guys can have ice cream and chocolate milk. No cookies. Stephanie: Yay! D.J.: Stephanie's mouth Okay. ---- D.J. and Stephanie's room, their little table has ice cream and chocolate milk cartons all over it, a sign of a mess. Stephanie is jumping while D.J. turns the rope tied to her bed. Stephanie: singing Z, my name is Zippy And my husband's name is Zorro. We come from San Francisco With a carload of zebras. A, my name is Alice-- D.J.: That's enough jump rope. Let's do the hand-jive. Stephanie: Okay, but I can't stop jumping. I may never sleep again. is able to stop her from jumping. Thanks. D.J.: Stephanie Two bowls of ice cream sure gives you a lot of pep, huh? Stephanie: Does pep mean you can't blink? D.J.: That's pep. music downstairs Party time. ---- Stephanie: the band Do you guys do any Bangles stuff? ---- Danny: he catches everybody partying Attention, Solid Gold . It's 12:15 and your hair is purple. Get down! Stephanie ...and I don't mean 'get funky'. Trivia. ---- D.J. and Stephanie's room, both roommates are just about to get their shut-eye, when Danny stops them for a chat regarding their so-called "babysitter". Danny: D.J., Stephanie, please come over here right now. Girls, we have a problem with Uncle Jesse. D.J.: Oh, no, Dad, we didn't have any problems with Uncle Jesse at all. Danny: I'm sorry. He was just so irresponsible. from under the table, he pulls out... What is this? the camera zooms out Uh-oh. Empty bowls and empty cartons. Oh, now I see what happened. Uncle Jesse forced ice-cream sundaes and chocolate milk down your throats…and then he hid the evidence under your table. Oh, the sick fiend. He probably ignored you when you told him no sweets after bedtime, huh? D.J.: Probably. Danny: No "Probably" about it, because otherwise you'd be lying. And you know better than that, don't you? Stephanie: Probably... Danny: Well, that does it. I guess asking Uncle Jesse to move in here was a big mistake. In fact, this may be a matter for the police. Now, sweet dreams, my perfect little angels. ---- Danny: to sing Lullaby and good night. And there's more words I'm not sure of... Joey: Conga! the guys do just that, as they carry Michelle to her room, as Jesse says... Jesse: What the hell. Come on, Leon. too joins in. Trivia *The first episode after moving to Friday nights *The only time the girls together lie to, and take advantage of, Uncle Jesse *Jesse says that Tarzan "wore diapers his entire life", which is not true; he wore a loincloth when he lived in the jungle *The song played by the band is " " (1961); also a February 1987 hit version by Dwight Yoakam *When Stephanie is standing on a guitar amplifier, Danny tells her, "Get down! And I don't mean 'Get funky'", is a reference to the phrase "Get down and get funky", used in the era (late 1970s to early 1980s) *"My name is Joey, and I'm a conga-holic" is a take on "My name is __ and I'm an alcoholic", which is what's said at meetings *For this episode's end credits only, the third image is the back shot of D.J. and Stephanie fishing with Danny at Fisherman's Wharf (the second is always the front shot), as the camera zooms out *In the Nick@Nite version, the scene where D.J and Stephanie ask Danny if he wants pizza was omitted Category:Season 1 Category:Episodes